ega noor ja ilus… või noh… noor olla pole häbiasi!

Highlight of my Friday oli see hetk, kus minult küsiti kassas dokumenti. Mis juba iseenesest on alati väga meelitav.. oh, mis te nüüd *edvistades*… kohe otsin dokumendi!
Kuni Fränky kõrvalt mainis, et jook, mida maksma hakkasin polnud alkoholiga…

Kui tihti te nii noored tundute, et isegi lkovabadel jookidel dokustaati küsitakse? Ah? 😛

**

Tegelikult oli tegu mingi peene mehhiko vms koolajoogiga. Karastusjook. Limps, noh. Aga, et see oli 0,33l klaaspudelis siis oli vist veits eksitav.
Tõe selguse huvides olgu siis öeldud, et kui müüjale mainisime, et see on koola, siis ta enam dokumenti ei tahtnud. Ma jäin kohe sealsamas vanemaks…

**

See omakorda tuletab mulle meelde lugu, kus me Caroga äsja täisealiseks saanud olime ja siis Säästukast toonikut ostsime, rõõmustasime, et dokumenti ei küsitud (peaaegu oleks ise näidanud) ja läksime jõime end sellest purju.

Kaineks saime siis, kui avastasime, et toonik ei sisaldagi alkoholi.

Oh seda noorte joodikute elu. Ei ole kerge, ei ole.

***

Koon on tagasi tööl! Jipiiiii!

Ja too Tiibeti koon, keda ma taga otsinud olen ja nüüd kohanud ei ole.. sain tagasisidet, et vähemalt on ta omanik mõistlik ja mures ja tegeleb asjaga. Ikkagi inimene.

***

Ja last, but not least. Ma tegelesin nädalavahetusel heegelkummidest meisterdamisega. Ja tegin endale mobiilikoti. Jaapani-minioni kujuga:

Jaapani sellepärast, et silm tuli natuke liiga kitsas… nii ta on natuke pilukas… aga muidu olen rahul. Parem kui minu esimene moblakotikatsetus oli, seda ma ei söenda isegi näidata mitte :D.

Minionitaskused, vol III

Nagu seeni pärast vihma tuleb uusi postitusi, ma ütlen. Pean ju jätkama uute parimate palade lisamist siia. Onju? Jah?!

(voh, mul tuli geniaalne mõte, ma ju ei tääginud neid eelmisi postitusi “minioni” täägiga. Parandan selle vea koheselt! Silmapilkselt! Hop-hop! Nüt!…
… All better now. Uus tääg olemas.)

– “Expect nothing and You will never be disappointed.” (Minu moto!)

– “If nothing goes right.. Try going left!”

– “Sometimes I pretend to be normal, but it gets boring, so I got back to being me.”

– “Smile today, tomorrow could be worse.”

– “When I said I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.”

– “If we´re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge???”

– “I was supposed to have a nice body for people to look at this summer, but there is one small problem… I love Food more than I love People.”

– “I leave homework to the last day, because I´ll be older, therefore wiser.”

– “The biggest lie I tell myself is: “I don´t need to write it down, I´ll remember it.”

– “They say we learn from our mistakes. That´s why I´m making as much as possible. I´ll soon be a genius.”

– “I´m only responsible for what I say, not what You understand.”

– “Instead of a sign that says: “Do not disturb” I need one that says: “Already disturbed, Proceed with Caution.”

– “Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.”

– “Wi-Fi went down for five minutes, so I had to talk to my family. They seem like nice people.”

– “People say we cannot live without love. I say oxygen is more important :P.”

– “My life is like a romantic comedy, except there is no romance and it is just me laughing at my own jokes.”

– “A jelaous woman does better research than the FBI.”

– “Being single is smarter than being in the wrong relationship.”

– “They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.”

– “Maybe money can´t buy happyness, but I think it´s only fair to give me some and let me learn that lesson myself.”

– “I do it because I can. I can because I want to. I want to because You said “I couldn´t.””

– “I look back on my life and I´m extremely impressed that I´m still alive.”

– “Never let Your friends feel lonely… … disturb them all the time.”

– “A best friend is like a four leaf clover: hard to find, lucky to have.”

– “A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happyness. And a friend like me…  …well, thats a sign of good taste.”

***

lõpetuseks muid fakte:

“Null – on arv päevi, mil pole olnud sõda kusagil siin planeedil, alates 2925 E.K.R.”

“That awkward moment when You´re not sure if You actually have free time, or You´re just forgetting everything.”

***

PS. Palusin Siri´l mind ükspäev lõbustada. Esmalt käskis ta mul get Siri-ous, aga seejärel rääkiski ühe pala:
“The past, present and the future walk into a bar. It was tense.”

Minioni-tarkused, vol 2

Kuna Minioni-tarkused vol 1 meeldisid inimestele (ja lisaks inimestele nt Fränkyle ka 😛) ja kuna neid on taaskord juurde tekkinud nagu seeni pärast vihma, siis ei hakka endiselt FB gruppi (tekstid piltidel) risustama vaid toksin need siia. Sama lugu, et pildil on tekst ja siis üks sellise uudumuudu olekuga mõnglilaadne olend Minion.
* “Unless Your name is Google, stop acting like You know everything!”

* “Maybe You should eat some makeup so You can be pretty on the inside too!”

* “Diet rule no 1: If nobody sees You eating it, it doesn´t contain any calories.”

* “Im in desperate need of a 6 month vacation twice a year.”

* “If someone throws a stone at You, throw a flower at them. But remember to throw the flower pot with it!”

* “Every night it´s and endless battle between sleen and the internet…”

* “Diplomacy is the art of telling people Go To Hell in such a way that they ask for directions!”

* “You can only be young once, but You can always be immature.”

* “Who says You´re ugly, when You´re the most beautiful monkey I´ve ever seen?!”

* “You will never realize how wired Your friends are until You start describe them to someone else.”

* “Laughing is the best medicine, but if You´re laughing for no reason, You may need medicine.”

* “Did You know that id You light a candle under the moonlight and You say 3 times the name of the person You love, You will look really stupid doing that.”

* “HELL YEAH! Home alone! Expectations: PARTYY! Reality: Peeing with the door open.”

* “That awkward moment when You´ve already said “What?” three times and still have no idea of what the other person said, so You just agree.”

* “What if Your pillow could record Your dreams and when You wake up You can plug it in to the computer and watch it back.”

* “I could be a morning person. If morning happened to be around noon.”

* “A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we would talk to each other instead of about each  other.”

* “Have You ever noticed that anybody driving slower than You is an idiot and anyone going faster than You is a maniac?”

* “I consider myself a crayon. I might not be Your favourite color, but one day You will need me to complete Your picture.”

***

Ja mitte-Minioni-tarkus-vol-2 ka:

* “Kui ma vanaks saan, siis elan ma koos oma lastega. Ma vallutan arvuti, ei maksa arveid, söön kogu toidu ära, ajan maja segamini ja kui mind koristada palutakse, siis käitun nagu see tapaks mind!”

* Aafrika lapsed seisavad kõrgendikul rohelise maastiku kohal päikese käes ja naudivad vaadet. Juures on jutumullid:
Laps 1: “Kas teadsite, et Euroopas peavad lapsed terve päeva vaikselt klassis olema, vabal ajal istuvad nad õues jooksmise asemel hoopis toas arvutis ja puhta toidu asemel söövad nad väga palju e-aineid?”
Laps 2: “Kui kohutav! Peaksime nende jaoks annetusi koguma!”

* “To be laughing so hard that no nose comes out and you just sit there clapping like a retarded seal.”

* Koer ootamas: “Minu omanik teeb 5 korda nädalas 8-tunniseid autosõite, aga mind ei võta kunagi kaasa.”

***

PS. Teiste üle ei ole ilus naerda ja ilmselt arvavad hiinlased meie nimedest samuti nagu meie nende omadest, aga ükspäev sain ma paki tüübilt nimega: Ding Dong Feng… how hilarious is that?!

Minioni-tarkused

Näoraamatus on Minionide*** leht (Minion Fans), kus avaldatakse pilte, kus on üks lahe kavala näoga Minion ja juures üks fakt-mõttetera-tarkusetera. Mõtlesin alguses, et postitaks mõne neist FB gruppi “Tekstid piltidel”.. AGA… siis sain aru, et Minioni-tarkuseid on sadu ja sadu, üks ägedam kui teine :D.. Vist ei lähe seda gruppi spämmima…

Valisin siis hoopis välja paarkümmend neist ja postitan need laused/mõtted/ütlused siia. Tekstina. Pilte ei hakka lisama.

* “Breaking news: I just found out there is nothing wrong with me. It´s the world that has issues.”

* “Sometimes I wish I was a bird… so I could fly over certain people and shit on their heads.”

* “I don´t have a bad handwtiting. I have my own font.”

* “My mind says: “Who cares?!”, but then mu heart whispers: “You do, stupid…””.

* “When You really want to slap someone, do it and say: “Mosquito!””

* “You never know what You have… Until You clean Your room.”

* “Internet Explorer – The best browser for downloading another browser.”

* “My Saturday was going pretty well until I realized it was Sunday.”

* “How to talk to me when I´m in bad mood? … DON´T!”

* “Square box, round pizz, triangle slices… I´m confused!”

* “Lazy rule no.2: If it falls under the bed. Its lost… Forever.”

*** – Minion = Minionid on pisikesed kollased mõngli-laadse välimusega armsad otud tegelinskid multikast “Despicable Me” (“Mina, Supervaras”).

PS. Mitte-Minioni-tarkust ka sekka (loe: faktid, huumor jms teistelt lehtedelt):

* “Kõige populaarsem koeranimi New York Citys on Max.”
(Karlovas on kõige populaarsem kuldse retriiveri nimi Max 🙂 (Maximus, Maxwell etc))

* “Sa võid jätta meelde Pii väärtuse (3,1415926), kui loed kokku tähtede arvu igas sõnas lauses: “May I have a large container of coffee?””

* “Mr. Bean (Rowan Atkinson) luges Zazu (sinine lind) häält multifilmis “Lõvikuningas””.

* “Aasta 1998 on sama kaugel kui aasta 2030!”

* “Klassis: 2+2=4.
Kodutöö: 734+555-432:69=77
Kontrolltöö: Kui 2 lammast lendavad, üks neist kollane ja teine suundub vasakule, siis kui palju maksab üks nael asfalti, arvestades et lehm on 10 aastat vana?”

* “Ma muutsin kõikjal oma parooliks “incorrect”, nii et kui ma oma parooli unustan, ütleb see mulle: “Your password is incorrect.””